fake it 'til you make it.

It's been nearly a year since I was laid off and thrown into full-time stay-at-home-momdom and I've become that mom.

You know.

The one with the adorably dressed, perfectly accessorized kids who herself looks a complete mess.

I'm her. And it's SAD.

I'm not about to make excuses for it. Having three children does not mean I should leave the house sans makeup and with unkempt hair and ill-fitting clothes. The fact is, I'm lazy. I could very well get up earlier and make myself presentable and I know if I did that, I would feel much better. Lying in bed for an extra 20 minutes feels so good at the time, but it's so not worth it later in the day when I look much more frazzled than I actually feel.

I decided I need to make a change. The final straw was when I ran into an acquaintance and Walmart. She was dressed to the nines, but still appropriate for being a mom -- trendy jeans, a cute top and flats. Her hair was styled and she had makeup on -- nothing too over-the-top, but enough to make her look refreshed. I was a trainwreck. I'd just washed my hair and let it air-dry into a half-curly 'fro. I had zero makeup on...not even a spot of concealer. I had on baggy-assed maternity jeans and an oversized, faded t-shirt with an old, pilly Columbia fleece on top. Seriously. I was a mess. My friend has four kids. FOUR. And still managed to pull herself together. And it wasn't a fluke. Every.single.time. I see her she looks great. I'd just seen her at Target the week before with a sick kid in tow and she looked fabulous. (I, of course, was wearing a variation of what I just described above with the same hair and makeup-less face). I vowed I would quit being such a momhag.

Initially, I decided I'd start working out and try to be less hideous slowly. I figured it would be a process. But then I decided to hell with that. I don't have to lose weight to take pride in my appearance. I can start NOW.

The past two days, I've styled my hair and worn makeup. That alone has made me feel so much better. I've also put on REAL clothes -- complete with accessories. My current wardrobe is very limited since I still have quite a bit of weight to lose before I'm comfortable in my pre-pregnancy pants and shirts, so I've vowed to buy myself some pieces that will fit my current body well in the meantime. I went to Gap today and got a bag full of tops that actually look decent over my enormous boobs and flabby belly for next to nothing, thanks to a coupon and fabulous sale. Next up is a pair of jeans that isn't too tight or too baggy. I also plan to get a couple pairs of yoga pants and a track jacket or two so that when I do want to wear something more comfortable out of the house, it's at least presentable. I'm embarrassed to admit that I've pretty much worn pajamas to two of my newborn sessions recently.

Overall, adjusting to being a mom to three has gone remarkably well. The boys love their sister and she's a pretty easy-going baby (quite the difference from #2!). Now I just need to look like I'm not exhausted and haggard, because I really don't feel that way. Perhaps then I won't hear "Oh, my! You really have your hands full!" from every other person I see in public...

Catching Up

I haven't felt much like writing lately. I've been a bit stressed. My husband lost his job, so now we're both unemployed and I'm still sort-of reeling three weeks later.

But, in exciting news, we found out that we're having a GIRL! I'm still pretty shocked and not 100% convinced it's true.

Thing 1 was nonplussed when we told him he was getting a sister. His response?

"I know...it's what I wanted."

Um, okay.

This pregnancy has been TOTALLY different than with the boys, so it shouldn't have surprised me too much that she's a she. I'm gaining weight in totally different places. With the boys, I had a high, round, obvious bump. This time? It's more of an all-over plump. My friend just told me last week "you don't really look pregnant...just like you have a fat roll." Thanks, I guess? She's settled really low, too. It feels like she's CONSTANTLY kicking me in the crotch.

I've been keeping busy with the biz, which is good. I just shot my first wedding this past weekend and it was a lot of work, but I loved it.

Other than trying to keep up with the kids and my work, I've been obsessing over Baby Girl B's nursery. I came up dry when trying to find something feminine, but not to pink and girly in-store or online, so I've charged Nana with sewing the Little Miss' crib set. But I can't seem to settle on a fabric that I just LOVE.

Right now, I'm liking these (but that could change tomorrow). I'm hoping to decide this week.

The Bright Side

I'm a bit mopey today. With a side of Debbie Downer. It's been a rough year thus far and it doesn't seem to be getting any better. We learned today that the hubs will probably lose his job in the next couple weeks. Considering my current state of (un)employment, this is a frightening prospect. And there's a whole lot of backstory that makes it an even more frustrating situation.

In an effort to pull myself out of my funk, I thought I should take some time to think about all the positive things in my life.

-I have two adorable and precocious little boys. The love they have for their mama is overwhelming and they remind me each day what a joy it is to be a parent.

-Thing 2 started talking a little bit! This is HUGE since we'd just had him evaluated for a speech delay and though he was way low on the spectrum for expressive speech, his comprehension was good and he missed the mark for intervention. He started saying "papa" on Friday and has been saying "all done" with his words!

-We're expecting another little one in January and so far, the baby seems perfectly healthy. Thing 1 is already so in love with his new brother or "sisser" and kisses and talks to my belly all the time. It makes my heart soar.

-I've been blessed with a talent that allows me to do something I absolutely love that helps support my family.

-I have the most amazing husband in the world. He's so supportive and motivated and helpful and is such a great daddy.

-I have a wonderful family and am so thankful to have them all here in town.

-We have a roof over our head (nevermind that the ceiling leaks...oh, wait, I'm being positive here...)

-I have great friends who are fabulous listeners and very understanding.

The Best Laid Plans...

Apparently the second trimester burst of energy has struck. I'm keeping up with laundry (!), I've cooked a few meals and I just got done cleaning the main floor. And the ol' gears are a-turnin' in my head, too, dreaming up all the projects I'd like to get done before the baby comes.

I was inspired to finally get some photos on my wall a couple weeks ago. I impressed both my husband and myself by a) effectively using the math portion of my brain, which receives very little exercise and b) limiting the number of holes in the wall to only a few more than were necessary.

I also filled up a bunch of frames with new prints (of both newer photos and oldies-but-goodies). Now I don't feel quite so ridiculous when people who know I'm a photographer come to the house and see no photos...

In the interest of trying to keep myself accountable (pfffft), I figured I'd list what I want to get done.

-paint the powder room (I'm thinking a metallic light blue)

-choose a color and paint the boys' bathroom

-paint the notch-back in the dining room an accent color and stencil a design onto that wall. Like this:

or this:

(this will have to wait until the a-hole builder finally figures out how to fix our leaky ceiling problem).

-sand and paint the baby's dresser.

-sand and paint the raggedy heirloom side table from the family room.

-create a storage system in Thing 1's closet to accomodate both boys' clothes.

-repaint the boys' room. (the hubs is going to kill me for this one...but I'm just not a fan of the blue in there.)

-paint the front door cranberry.

I'd love a backsplash and a new sink, too, but that'll have to wait.

Lightbulb Moment!

First, you should know two things:
1) I'm a planner. A bit obsessively. (uh, hello? I was an event planner in my past life. It's what I do.)
2) I'm cheap.

Because of these two things, sleeping arrangements for the kids once Thing 3 arrives have been weighing heavily on my mind.

The most long-term cost effective solution would be to buy bunk beds that can be two twins and move Thing 2 into a big boy bed. Howwwwwever, as cheap as I am, I'm also quite fond of my sleep, and considering he only started sleeping through the night in his crib not two months ago, I'm hesitant to mess up what we've got going by moving him to a bed he can get himself out of. So, then I thought, we'll just get another crib and move Thing 2 into Thing 1's room in his current bed. But, my inner tightass screams IT'S A WASTE OF MONEY TO BUY A SECOND CRIB. On the flip side, though, it would be cheaper in the short-term than buying a bunk set and mattresses. Conundrum, no?

I had an epiphany this morning. We have, in our possession, a $100 credit at Target, thanks to the recall on our first crib (it used to be a much bigger credit, but our front room needed some love from my most favorite store). So, I realized we could get a crib for REALLY cheap.

Then I got to thinking about what we'd do for a dresser. Thing 1 still has the chest that matched his crib, but it's cherry and doesn't match anything else since I want to do white in the new baby's room. And Thing 2 has a nice espresso crib, but I want to move that with him since it matches his bed and will match the bunk beds I have picked out.

And then I realized I could PAINT it! I've been wanting to paint a piece of the kids' furniture a fun, bright color.

But that brought me to another problem. We're not finding out the sex of this baby. If it's a boy, we'll reuse Thing 2's adorable bedding, which is light blue, white, brown and orange. If it's a girl, we'll get bedding and I was thinking I wanted black/white and lavender. Lord knows I won't have time to paint the crib after the baby's born, so what color could I paint it so that it would work for either?

ROBIN'S EGG BLUE!

Ka-ching!

















I'm FINALLY getting excited about getting ready for the baby (I know, I know. I'm only 16.5w pregnant. I have plenty of time. But, I was way further in the planning stages with both boys by this point. And, I'm just gearing up for my busiest time of year with my business and then we have the holidays and the boys' birthdays, so I really don't have all that much free time).

I found some really cute bedding at Pottery Barn Kids that would work perfectly with blue.




















Then I had another epiphany.

Robin's egg blue with RED accents for a girl!

Lovedy Love Love.

So now I just have to keep my peepers peeled for stuff I can put in online shopping carts and order if we end up with a daughter. And for new little touches for if it's a boy. Gotta make it the new baby's "own," ya know.

You know what I miss most about working? (You know, aside from the adult interaction and paychecks...)

Yummy lunches. With grown ups.

Now that I'm finally able to eat prior to 6pm, I'm really feeling bummed out about my midday meal options. I've traded gourmet sandwiches and big, glorious, fresh salads for whatever mac & cheese is left gummed to the inside of the pan after I've served, blown cool and given seconds to my two little piggies.

But, crappy cuisine is the least of my worries lately. We've had a hellacious couple of weeks. The hubs had to lay off MORE guys (which means more work for him) and then he was handed a paycut. Oh, how I miss his old job. We're both so very bitter about the current employment situation, but that's a whole 'nother story.

A week later, we learned my great-aunt -- who's treated us like grandkids since she had none of her own -- was very sick, unresponsive and on a respirator. After two days by her bedside, a unanimous decision was made to remove her from the ventilator. She never wanted to be hooked to a bunch of tubes. I think we all held out a little hope that she'd fool us all and come up fighting once the sedation was weaned off and the vent was removed. She hung there a lot longer than any of us expected (she was a toughie!), but passed away last Tuesday.

Our house has been a disaster. Our contractor and their subcontractor are completely stumped by a condensation issue we've been experiencing with our HVAC system. It's been dripping through the ceiling and was pouring out of a can light. Lovely. Even lovelier? The FIVE gaping holes cut into my ceiling and walls. And, being relegated to the house for hours at a time to babysit various workers sent out. We're hoping this latest "fix" actually rectifies the issue, but we're not too positive about it. Even the contractors don't seem too convinced this will work. I'm just ready to have my house back -- both to its original state and to ourselves.

The hubs and I have always experienced jags of bad luck followed by stretches of good (well, decent...we've never been lucky). So, we thought after thing.after.thing. going wrong, perhaps some good stuff was in store for us. But, now we've just found out my grandpa -- Thing 1's namesake and my most favorite person in the universe -- has cancer. UGH.

We did, however, have a good ultrasound last Friday. Baby Tres looks healthy and was super cute during the sonogram. Yay! The tech seemed pretty confident in a gender guess, but we opted not to find out, sticking to our "Team Green" stance. However, I'm nubsessed! Evidently, all babies have "nubs" (penis-like protrusions) in the late first and early second trimesters. But, you can supposedly determine the gender by the "angle of the dangle." I can't stop trying to figure it out (based on the last two pics)! I don't think it's definitive either way, so I guess that's good since we want to be surprised, but I'm driving myself nuts! My husband doesn't think I'll be able to hold out at the next ultrasound (he may be right, but we're really going to try!)

(S)he's already super cute!

Add Another Excuse to the List

I didn't fully disclose why I've been such a (bigger) hot mess of a housewife the other day. We weren't completely public yet. But, we heard a strong heartbeat Friday, so I can finally share that we're expecting Thing 3!

This child is a body ravaging little stinker. So, on top of my inherent laziness, I'm now battling exhaustion and all-day sickness (who was the dumbass who came up with the term "morning" sickness anyway? A guy, no doubt.) The less I sleep and more I try to do, the sicker I get. Between the two kids and my slothiness, the house is now a state I never imagined was even possible.

After making the announcement to friends and family, I've heard all those fun pregnancy-isms people think are appropriate to make. Somehow, I'd forgotten how tactless people can be since my last pregnancy two years ago. After four pregnancies (one that ended in an early miscarriage), I feel I'm sort-of a semi expert on what's appropriate -- and more importantly, what's NOT -- to say to a pregnant woman and I thought I'd share:

DO say you're excited for the couple/the pregnancy is great news.
DO NOT ask if the pregnancy was planned.

DO tell mom she looks great.
DO NOT say "oh, wow! The flabby belly makes sense now."

DO say the baby is a blessing.
DO NOT insinuate in any way, shape or form that the baby better be of a certain gender.

DO have fun making guesses on the gender.
DO NOT justify these guesses with reasons such as "your butt has gotten quite wide, so you must be having a girl" or "cankles mean you're having a boy" or "my sister's nose got big like that when she had her son" or any other rationalizations that include commenting on the mother's physical appearance (unless, as I mentioned before, you're going to say she looks great.)

DO feel free to ask mom when she's due.
DO NOT gasp, pull a face, allow your jaw to drop, ask "are you SURE?" or "is it twins?" or act incredulous when a woman's due date is much farther off than you suspected. What you are saying with this behavior is that she is HUGE. And, that, my friends? Is just rude.

DO share how magical motherhood is.
DO NOT share your horrific birth story. Feel free to share the horrors of pregnancy with teens in an effort to stave off unplanned pregnancies, but don't try to freak out a woman who is already pregnant -- and will therefore have to experience a birth of some sort -- with your tales of 4th degree tears or a botched c-section.

DO ask if she knows -- or will find out -- what she's having.
DO NOT insist she's out of her mind for the choice she's made. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're so glad you were surprised. Or, so what? You "needed" to know so you could plan. Well, good for YOU. She and her husband will make their own decision.

Other tips:
-do NOT touch her belly. You may ask, but please don't fondle anyone, pregnant or not, unsolicited.
-do NOT tell her she can't eat ________.
-do NOT ask if the pregnancy is "natural." Why is it your business if she used fertility treatments?
-do NOT wear strong perfume in her presence if you can help it.

At this point, I'm not really even bothered anymore by the where-the-eff-are-your-manners questions anymore (other than the ones related to making me feel like it's punishment to have two boys, let alone THREE. Those get me all steamed up.) But, maybe these little tips will keep you from annoying your friend/co-worker/sister/cousin/bank teller/etc. Because pregnant women are already on edge. They don't need any stupid comments to push them over the edge.