You know those girls who dream about one day being a cute little housewife and stay-at-home mom?
That's not me.
Did I fantasize about being a wife? Absolutely. And there was nothing I wanted more than to be a mother. But, I always saw myself having a successful career. I didn't daydream about lace-trimmed aprons -- I imagined myself in sleek business suits.
After my first son was born, I realized that working full-time wasn't for me. But, on the flip side, being home full-time wasn't my scene either. I somehow was graced with the good fortune of having the best of both worlds -- I landed a part-time gig and it was a job I loved. I was home more than I worked, but I loved that I got to be challenged to be creative, interact with other adults and, of course, wear my snappy get-ups. My second son was born while I was employed there and it remained an ideal situation -- especially since Thing 2 is more than a bit challenging. He's been riddled with issue after issue since birth and there's no way I could have held down a full-time job while trying to figure out and care for him. And my job gave me just the escape and break I needed 2.5 days a week.
It should have come as no surprise in this economy (especially considering I was only part-time and our "team" could obviously function without me, since they had done so for several years prior to my coming on) when I was laid off in March. But, honestly, I'm still a bit lost. Somehow, I was able to keep the house running much more efficiently when I wasn't in it all day. I guess I had to manage my time better? I think my poor (delusional) husband had visions of me making his lunch every morning and coming home to a clean home and hot meal every night. (and I may or may not have planted the seeds of those delusions when we'd have discussions about me possibly staying home in the future...) The truth is? I kind-of suck at this stay-at-home mom/housewife thing. My two tiny tornadoes undo everything I try to accomplish during the day. My toddler is a trainwreck who requires more attention than any child I've ever known. I never cook and I believe I've made my husband a lunch twice since I was laid off.
In my defense, I also try and keep my formerly-side-but-now-sole-source-of-income photography business running smoothly.
But, excuses aside, I just really am a hot do MESS tic. Not "hot" as in I think I'm sexy. (hold on just one moment while I work the stitch in my side I just developed from laughing at the thought of my referring to myself as "hot-as-in-attractive." Frick. I'm lucky if my unstyled hair even makes into a ponytail. I haven't worn my contacts in months. And makeup? Ha! None on this mug.) Anyway, back to the point. I'm one hot mess who fell into this role of being domestic. Get it? Clever, right? They should have kept me at that job, no? I'm quick as a whip!
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE spending time with my boys. And my house is clean...it's just rarely neat. I do, however, envy the likes of those who can keep it all together because that's something I'm still trying to figure out how to do.
If you know me, you'll be able to catch updates of our crazy life here and, of course, pictures of the kids. If you don't know me, you can laugh and/or cringe as I try to muddle my way through figuring out this home-all-the-time thing. (and for those of you who followed my old blog -- this will replace it. #1. I have no extra time to maintain yet another blog and #2. Some creepy creeper was all up in my biz on the other and it will soon be taken down.)
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